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Amazing True Stories

Baby Lobster Rips Off Man's Peanus

Corner Brook, Newfoundland - Irving Cormen and his wife, Polly, were engaging in bondage games when Irving suggested spreading peanut butter on his genitals and letting Nippy, their pet Baby Lobster, lick them clean. Sadly, Nippy lost control and began tearing at Irving's penis and testicles. Nippy refused to obey commands and a panicked Polly threw a jug of boiling water at the baby lobster. The lobster and Irving were covered with boiling water. Thinking that the Cormens had broken their solemn oath not to cook him, Nippy leaped back, tearing away the penis. While trying to get her unconscious husband in the car to take him to the hospital, Polly fell twice, injuring her wrist and ankle. Irving's penis was in a styrofoam ice cooler.

"Irving is just plain lucky," said the surgeon who spent eight hours reattaching the penis. "Believe it or not, the boiling water turned out to be very fortuitous. The heat and boilyness, which must have been excruciatingly painful, helped sterilize the wound. Also, aside from it being removed, the damage caused by the lobster's claws to the penis per se is minimal. It's really a very stringy piece of flesh. Mr. Cormen stands an excellent chance of regaining the use of his wanger because of this."

Newfoundland Animal Control has plans to seize Nippy, cook him and eat him, as soon as he gets a bit bigger.

Amazing but TRUE

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Copyright 2002 Beable van Polasm
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